It was dark when I fell... too... dark. The coldness was
strong and great; it chilled my very soul to the point of numbness - past the
point of numbness. That is where the blood lust began, the craving of wanting
some warmth again.
Why did you fall, you asked? or do you mean how? Either
question there is no easy answer, let alone in words.
I was once a child of GOD; brave and good, strong willed and
young. I was one of the first who was chosen after the first cycle of [10011].
I was one of the "lights", those chosen lights... I was one of the
brightest lights, a golden orange of sorts; a light well noticed by the GODhead
(source).
0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0
I was around before the planets, back when there was only
one universe instead of several, back even before the formation of the
planets.... lights... back when there was only the FATHER (source), ME, and
MOTHER (ring)
(see photo below, one ring of several)
(CREATION story here told, but at another time)
These light energies formed into other beings, other
entities that one day will (or was) have a name, a form given by Earth humans
and humans from other planets that formed in other universes, but that story is
yet to be told.
Over time more and more "lights and streams of
frequency” escaped from the GOD source.
These lights and frequency over time turned into planets,
the seas, and the humans. As the lights changed, I did as well. The Source
became larger and more complex, just as the energies that escaped from It has.
There were no rulers, no guidelines, yet no will to be free.
With these came the "animal" nature of the creations of the Source.
They needed guidance, a way to know their WILLs... But that's another's story,
not mine, mine comes from the after math of that particular story... (the
devil's rejects).
The fall happened when I was only human, before the Dark
Ages fully began. It was a year not yet defined, but now would be defined as
before the year (1023). Year does not matter, the fact is the timeframe is near
this suppose year. It was a time of great sorrow for some, but more so
confusion for the majority. I was one of the few in the dark, for I was not
part of the Roman control - My family and I were not worthy of their notice. We
were the vagabonds, or lower, the "forgotten" who do the work the
peasants wouldn't even do; the ones who get paid not with even a slavery wage,
but in stone and wood that could be used for building. We had to find our own
way for food, the food that no one would give us. How did we survive? You'll
soon learn, but that is not important for the moment.
With the sticks and stones we were paid in, we built our
home of rocks. You may be thinking, how sturdy could a stack of stones be? It
was built for a barrier against what is to come. Little did the rulers know
that their sticks and stones would be of use to us "ignorant"
forgotten ones.
Though we didn't associate in society, society disowned us
long ago, we learned from observing their actions. We didn't speak their
language, but that is because we were not allowed to. Little did they know that
our minds absorbed their words and translated them into our own ancient tongue.
They were too blissfully ignorant to realize they were the ignorant ones; they
were the ones who knew little. Their gold and silver was their only power, and
that is only greed, once those objects are gone they have nothing left to keep
them strong. An army isn't even useful against an unclean, untarnished, undefined
mind that has not had to conform to a way of a particular society.
[why did they disown you?]
It was our appearance, more or less, we didn't absorb the
heat of the sun in the same way the people of the east and west did. The sun
had no affect on us, and this put fear on the people who saw us. WE didn't look
like them; they didn't understand what didn't look the same as the rest. Our
eyes were black, our skin was pale, we had no preference of hot or cold, our
skin was always cool, and our hearts had a slow beat, so slow in fact that many
thought we were the walking dead, whatever that phrase means.
We weren't there to harm anyone, only to learn, but the way
we were treated discouraged us to care for the creatures that treat us lower
than a vagabond. We had a pulse, a mind, and a sense of understanding. We
weren't violent, but we saw the violence and fear in these people’s eyes. We
didn't want to help them, so we did not speak in their tongue. They had no
translators, so they put us off as fools who can not be taught, unclean
creatures that came from the depths of somewhere distant and unknown. Their
insults, their taunts, and their stones put us off. We eventually decided to
not trust in these humans. This is where the story begins.
As the barrier wall we built became taller, long enough and
wide enough to enclose us, we began to place stones in the empty space we used
as, what you’d call, a door way. One day the last stone was placed and we were
enclosed behind this wall, located beside a hill, on the outskirts of the city,
but not too far from the city to not hear the sounds of the ignorant.
We enclosed ourselves behind this barrier. We sat with no
verbal discussions; there were five of us in total. We sat and listened,
absorbed the energies, sounds, and communications we heard and sensed from
beyond our wall. The longer we sat - may have been days, weeks, months, years,
we did not count – the more we despised these people. In us formed an empty
dark emotion that was focused on these people: hate. We began to feel hate, a
feeling that was never in us before landing upon Earth. WE did not like the
people’s petty violence, nor their harsh words and behaviors used against their
own kind, in what they call their family and community.
One day the familiar sounds became disturbed with a feeling
of panic. The sound of many horse hooves, many pairs of feet stomping the
earth, and sound of loud noise such as the roaring of a fire signaled to us a
change in this society. War was now upon them, Roman invasion, caused by a
disagreement between two societies. A petty excuse, but it was to our
advantage.
With in our group there was one individual who held the
emotion hate the strongest, who used it to gain it’s own power, and to form a
new emotion yet existing to our species: revenge. This being’s eyes showed a
different depth of darkness; his physique was a little more peculiar, if only
slightly. He was some what taller than the rest, but his body structure was
similar as the others. This being became the leader of the group which had no
leader, this being was ME.
My new emotion of revenge brought images to my mind which
turned into thoughts, word thoughts. These images were of beings that do not
exist in any universe, but would work well as the object of ignorant people’s
nightmares. You see, I have the ability to create dreams, inspire creative
thinking, to give new perspectives. The only perspective I wanted to give these
people was one of fear – real fear, not the plastic fear they have for those
not like them.
My thoughts were felt by my group members, but I know they
didn’t affect them the same way. Our species isn’t violent, but they knew what
I intended to do, and they stood by my view. They absorbed my thoughts and
telepathic instructions. We waited for the time to act.
One day we sensed a person too close to our barrier. They
were curious of what was behind it. We waited for the human to do something.
The change in the atmosphere, the change in the energies
given off from the people, stirred us from our meditative state. I was the
first to stir. I raised my head from its bowed position and looked straight a
head, past the being of my group, and to the stone wall. As I raised my head,
so did the others, who all turned in my direction, as if waiting for an order.
I looked at my group, the beings of my race, and I gave a slight nod, which
they gave back in return. We all stood up from our sitting position in a
flawless, none stiff way, as if we haven’t been sitting in the same position
for days. We waited.
And then the action happened. A whistling noise was heard,
as if something was flying in the air in a rapid pace, heading to a target. We
knew the target to be our barrier. The hot iron rock hit our barrier, causing
it to collapse, but we had speed beyond what these humans had. I made the first
move, and the others followed. We jumped past the falling wall before the stone
hit the earth, the hot iron rock having no affect on immortal beings as us.
The person outside our barrier saw the wall begin to fall and
us charging over it and he began to run in terror. We paid no mind to him. Our
aim wasn’t him, but the city before us. We plan to strike them with these
fearful images.
My group wasn’t sure of my aim, but they felt a need to
release this emotion of hate somehow, so they trusted my judgment. We flew past
the wall, and the human collapsed out of petrified fear as we swept past him.
We did not kill him, but the troops on horse back behind us did by trampling
him to death.
We swooped through the crowd. All they saw were flashes of
black, for we moved with quick sped, as if we moved through the air. In fact,
many humans thought that is exactly what we did, but it was all part of our
illusion. Each human we passed we sent images of horror, images of their own
inner fears as well as new images I instinct in them. The images consisted of
distorted figures, such as what you may call orcs, giants, and golems as well
as distorted human figures that look like bats, or may have fangs like a
carnivore, all wanting warm human blood. These images were new to these people,
and it instinct a panic that we were hoping for. They began attacking us,
throwing their weapons and attacks toward us, but not one hitting us. Instead,
it was hitting each other. Soon they were fighting each other, not knowing
anymore who the enemy is and who is not. Brothers fought their own brothers,
sisters the same. Soon they were killing each other, and this satisfied the
hunger of my own people.
My group wanted to stop there and go no further than that
city, but I wanted more. Seeing the humans kill each other because of the
images I created, seeing the power I could gain from this, blinded my vision
and mind from reason. For the first time I did not agree with my group, and for
the first time they began to feel what you’d call worry. They began to argue
with me in a human way, saying it’s not our way, what we have done was enough,
and that we must return home. I laughed, a human laugh, which was strange to
them. I separated myself from them after stating I no longer follow them, for I
have the ability to gain power over these ignorant people.
Once my group saw that I was not going to reason they
sacrificed their body they have here on earth by letting the people kill them.
I watched as they entered the crowd of violence, and I watched as the swords
and arrows went through them. My group’s bodies instantly disappeared. I knew I
was alone on this earth – the only one of my kind – and this thought satisfied
me. But I now developed a new emotion: greed. I wanted more satisfaction, and I
knew I’d get this by spreading the fear I have spread to these ignorant humans.
And so I did. I went from town to town, city to city,
village to village, continent to continent, spreading these fears, causing many
murders and societies collapsing. This went on for a period of years, centuries
maybe, I don’t even know for I never kept time. Through this time, due to the
greed, I had forgotten where I originally came from and who I originally was. I
got so use to these humans that I became human myself, many times. I created
the image that I was a human many times, just to see what it was like, and soon
I became as ignorant as they, but I still had the power I wanted.
I was called back to my original position many times, called
from the place I came from, called by the other lights, for I have to fulfill
my position. But I was too far gone, and my species knew it. I eventually
couldn’t hear their calls anymore, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still
watching, planning, and searching for a way to get me back. The day came where
they found their chance.
I was portraying as a human once again somewhere in an
eastern city, south east of what you’d call Africa.
I was curious about an earth woman. I wanted to experience the full human
experience so that I could properly control them. My eyes caught a woman who I
knew would fall in love with my image. I took the chance of appearing to her,
and she invited me to her tribe. There I spread the word of beings beyond this
planet, and beings who watch over this planet, as well as power that could be
gained here on this planet that could make their poor village rich. I told them
they no longer need to pray to the gods that they created, for I was one of
those beings from beyond this earth, and that all they needed to do was follow
me. They believed me and soon stopped their rituals and praying and followed my
words. Again, another society changed.
The woman who I first appeared to was still curious about
me. My enchantment was still upon her, and I knew it was only a matter of time
that I’d get to experience fully what it was to be human. The night came when
it was to happen. A peculiar feeling I was feeling, a feeling I never felt. It
was the feeling of worry, close to fear, the feeling my group felt before they
returned to their world. I knew after the deed I was about to do was done that
something would be forever changed, but what? I did not know.
[If you knew, would it have
stopped you?]
I do not think so, because I was too greedy to care about a
consequence.
And so the night came, and the deed happened. Afterwards, a
strange feeling came over me that was beyond the experience that happened. I
felt a pressure in my chest and a pulling sensation where the human heart is
located. What’s happening to me? was
my human thought. The pulling sensation began to increase and I began to feel
lightheaded. I then realized what was happening: my soul was being pulled from
my body. I was experiencing a human death.
The woman human was lying beside me when this was happening,
but she was fast asleep, unaware of anything past her dreams. As my soul left
my body, my body disappeared. My soul returned to the universe, to the world it
came from. Judgment was placed upon it.
I was before the High Council, those whom place judgment
upon the souls. I was once part of this council, of which only four remain: the
four members of my group I once belonged. They each had their own image, their
own illusion that they created for themselves, and I saw them in each one of
their illusions, but not at first. At first they appeared to me in only shadowy
figures with glowing eyes.
(pic of the “four” here)
One was the voice of all four, and the voice was deep and
stern, ‘You have forsaken us.’ And
image by image they showed me my life, as if in a film strip, from beginning to
end in fast forward images. I felt no remorse, and they knew I felt no remorse.
Then a question was asked. “Do you believe in the source and its
power?”[question related to this, but real question remains unclear].
“Yes,” was my non-emotional response.
‘Will you follow the source?’
‘No! I will never
follow! I have made my own power, I have changed the world! I do not need to
follow the source any longer.’
There was no word response, only an action. The four figures
changed: first into one large shadowy figure with glowing eyes, then the figure
melted into only a large eye, which then faded into an image of a skull, then
spread and swirled into an image of a large glowing hand that moved toward me
to grasp my soul.
I screamed out in fight, but I could not move. I knew I was
no match against them, but I continued to fight for I knew I was right. I had
my own power that could grow beyond the sources power.
They threw me into a 25-life-cycle after a hellish journey
through many obstacles that caused great pain to my soul. Cycle included a ring
of fire, sharp horns, taunts, and old memories constantly repeating into my
soul that became overwhelming and I could not block them while remaining in a
dark cold room. I was then thrown down to Earth to live a human life.
Each human life was longer than the previous. My first life
I died as a child, second, adolescence, and so on and so on. After the end of
each cycle I was placed before the Four
Judgments and asked the same questions, which I continuously
answered no to. I came back weaker, and weaker, after each cycle my power being
drained from me, yet I refused to give in.
And then came the rising of Christ, the turning of the
world, a revolution. My work ended, all forgot about me and my deeds, the
stories and images turned into legends and myths the majority no longer
believed. Many went back to their gods, and others worshiped the Christ figure.
On my last life, long after the sacrifice of Christ, I gave
in to their question. I was weak, too weak to live another life, too weak to go
through hell. I had no choice but to give in or perish. I finally answered loud
and clear, with all my might, “YES, I BELIEVE! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS AGAIN!” I was
in tears of surrender – yes souls do cry.
The four judgments were satisfied to my answer. I was sent
to heaven, to the light place which burnt my eyes and skin, I was in the dark
for so long. I roamed the place aimlessly, the beings there giving me no mind.
The place had a floor like a cloud, of which on none walked upon, for all
glided with ease, appearing as if floating. Above this place was nothing but a
sky, starry or bright blue, whichever you wanted it to appear to be. There were
doors that lead to wherever you wanted to roam. All could create what they
wished here, and all sang a harmonious tune. All was bright and light, and the
brightness pained my dark pupils. I attempted to talk to a nearby soul, to ask
them about this place, but the soul appeared to not see me. I kept attempting
to talk to all that would pass me by but still all ignored.
I was becoming panicked again, I still felt weak and pain
filled me still. I collapsed to my knees, bowed my head and covered my face; I
still held an image of a human. I felt the softness of the cloudy floor as I
cried in anguish. I felt the slow sinking feeling of falling through the
clouds, yet I never did fall through.
A humming feeling was felt throughout the entire heavens and
an ‘om’ sound was heard. I removed my
hands from my face and looked up. Before me was a large golden gate that began
to open, and as it did a great light began to spill through. I let out a scream
of pain and closed my eyes tight, but the brightness of the light still hurt my
eyelids.
Just as soon as the light came, it was gone and I was able
to open my eyes. When I did the gates were gone, and before me was a row of
rooms that had clear windows and doors. The light in this place was bright, but
not as bright as the rest of the world. This room had a white floor that was
not clouds, and a ceiling that was not a sky. It appeared to be some building,
but I knew it was only an illusion.
I walked slowly forward, a feeling of awe and curiosity
filled me. I looked from side to side, looking into every room. There were six rooms
in total, and each one had a class of souls with a teacher; a teacher of great
height and invisible wings. When I came to the last room, the last one to the
left of me, I saw that this one had only a few people inside and no teacher
present. It was as if they were waiting for their teacher to arrive. I was
standing in front of the clear door, peering in. The door opened on its own
accord and all looked at me. Many eyes widened, as if they knew who I was, and
some began to whisper to each other. Some of the whispers I heard, such as: ‘Is he our teacher?’ ‘I have heard of him,
he’s… and he has done… I thought his soul was destroyed?’ ‘He doesn’t look like
the image I saw before…’
These whispers confused me more. I walked to the farthest
point of the classroom. There was an empty chair before me, but I did not feel
like sitting. Instead I stood in this far corner, where the only shadow
resided. I waited as the others did for the teacher, but the wait wasn’t long.
In walked a figure in a white robe that had shoulder length
hair, facial hair, and brown eyes. This image was different than the other
teachers; I knew he was no angel. I knew him as Christ, and anger began to rise
in my being. My facial expression darkened as my eyes landed upon him. He stood
now in the front of the room where all could see him clearly. His eyes were on
me as mine were on his. He said only one word as he gestured me to come
forward, ‘come,’ was all he said, in
a calm voice that showed no authority. I found myself reluctantly moving
forward, standing now in front of him. ‘Sit,’
he said in the same tone. I looked beside me and there was a free seat, in
front of the class.
I obeyed and sat down on the wooden seat and placed my arms
on the wooden table. I looked to my right and saw a young girl sitting beside
me, staring at me in bewilderment. I saw into her soul and knew her as a
follower of the witches’ path, who in her human life had no belief in the
GODsource or Jesus. I looked away from her, ignoring her stare, and back to the
figure before me, the so-called Christ. He then began to speak.
He spoke of many things, words of light and darkness, the
difference between the two, what we can do for each other, and the difference
between the galaxies and universes. His words went on and on, for days on end.
Each one of us sat and listened, and as he spoke he showed us the worlds up on
worlds he speaks of. We were experiencing his words as he spoke, and we were
becoming renewed with each passing word.
One day his words did end, and when they did the others
left, but I remained. He looked to me and said, ‘Come,’ in his calm non-authoritative tone. I obeyed and he took me
on a trip through the galaxies, speaking no word but showing me the destruction
I had caused. He also showed me the people who follow him and the others who do
not, and he showed no remorse nor revenge for those who do not follow him. ‘They all have the free will to choose their
own path, as you have the free will to do the same,” he’d say to me. Before
I could object, saying I had no free will, and if I did I’d still have the
power I once had. He went on, ‘Though we
have free will, at times one’s will must be broken in order to gain more power,
for we at times lose sight of our true purpose, and attempt to gain power where
no power is needed.’
I then asked a question, ‘what
do I do to gain back my power rightfully? What can I contribute to the
universe?’ his response, ‘you be the
guide that they need to fulfill their purpose, so that they can reach a higher
consciousness and to become one with the
source. The ways to do this is within you, you only have to let yourself
believe it. I have a task for you, and if it is fulfilled you may claim your
former position. You have the ability to create and give creativity and insight
to others, I advise you to guide others to find their talents. You can do this
by becoming a spirit guide to a soul who needs guidance.’
‘But which soul? There
are so many.’
‘I will let you
choose. The right soul will come when the time is right, now return to the
heavens. My teaching is done.’
And with those words he was gone and I was back in the
cloudy place.
I roamed aimlessly around, searching for a soul to guide. I
was drawn to a crowd of souls circling a particular soul who was pink and
lavender, and with this soul were four beings that were large in height. I knew
them as the Four Judgments. They were giving this soul a task, and she seemed
willing to accept. The portal began to open that would send her to the human
world, but she was frightened to go and dashed; she hid where others did not
know. All looked from side to side in confusion. The four judgments saw me
observing, I was blending well in the crowd or so I thought. They said, find her telepathically to me, and so I
did as asked.
I propelled an image to the soul, an image of a pebbled
beach with a cloudy sky, and upon this beach a mountain with a cave. This is
where the soul had no choice but to stop and rest at, and so she did. I saw her
sitting upon the pebble beach, knees curled up to her chest, her head bent behind
her knees in a covered protection, and she was crying.
I appeared on this beach some distances away from her, but
not too far away where she could not see me. She looked up from her knees, her
crying ceased, and she looked straight in my direction. She stood up as I began
walking towards her. She fled in horror to the cave, just as I suspected her
to. I continued my walk to her, and in the cave she was crouched down in fear.
‘Listen girl,’ I
told her in a stern hissing tone. ‘I am
here to show you what you are to become. You will feel hellish, lonely, and
depression in your future human life, and confusion that will last well into
your teen years. You will begin to feel a longing for something more than what
you feel your petty life is, and you will wish death to come. You will feel
fear, and through this you will find strength, happiness, and realize love
through the support of your family. Through my stern guidance, you will find
your creativity and what you are to become. The obstacles you find will
strengthen you. With my help, you will become what you are to be and fulfill
your path.’ After my words I helped her to her feet and we walked together
back to the portal. She said something to the four that I did not understand,
but it was satisfactory to the Four Judgments. She then lifted her right hand
in a 90 degree angle, and some did the same to her. She then walked through the
portal, entering a human existence.
This life is still on the earth today. I have yet to fulfill
my old position, but this life is prospering beautifully with the help from
myself and other spirit guides the soul met along her human existence. I will
one day have the power I once had, to spread my knowledge throughout the
universes.
My tale does not end here, but for now this is the short
version of my tale… An unfinished tale, but my words will once again be heard.
Someone will listen and hear, and that one person will spread the knowledge.
Knowledge is power, and through it one can grow. Even a troubled being such as
I know knowledge is the key to fulfillment, success, and growth… May you grow
and prosper through the seeds of knowledge…
---
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Some lore on
Uriel:
The Golden Legend
by Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow:
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